Here are ten examples where responding with "Thank you for telling me that" to difficult feedback from a spouse can be healing and productive, with an explanation for each:

1. Spouse: "I feel like you don’t listen to me when discussing my day."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
Acknowledging this feedback without defensiveness demonstrates that you value your spouse’s feelings and allows better communication. It signals that their experience matters to you.

2. Spouse: "You’ve been so focused on work lately that I feel neglected."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
Saying "thank you" shows vulnerability and appreciation for their honesty, helping to diffuse tension and showing a willingness to address an imbalance in attention and priorities.

3. Spouse: "Sometimes I feel like you dismiss my ideas."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
This response validates their courage to share something that might feel risky. It shows you are open to recognizing blind spots and eager to understand their perspective.

4. Spouse: "I don’t feel appreciated for everything I do around the house."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
In response to this feedback, gratitude softens the exchange and conveys that you’re ready to consider their unmet needs and how your actions might impact them.

5. Spouse: "How you speak to me when stressed feels hurtful."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
A calm acknowledgment diffuses the potential for escalation and communicates a desire to be more mindful about how stress affects your behavior and your spouse’s emotions.

6. Spouse: "I’m not as happy in this relationship as I used to be."

You: Thank you for telling me that.
Expressing gratitude for this hard truth demonstrates emotional maturity and commitment to growth. It opens a path for an honest discussion about what can change.

7. Spouse: "You don’t seem to make time for us anymore."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
By thanking your spouse, you acknowledge their concern and convey that you value the relationship, paving the way for meaningful efforts to reconnect.

8. Spouse: "I feel like I’m always planning things for us."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
This response avoids defensiveness and shows you’re receptive to rebalancing responsibilities and fostering teamwork and shared effort.

9. Spouse: "You sometimes talk over me in conversations, and it makes me feel small."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
Sincerely, thanking them for pointing this out shows humility and respect. It helps rebuild trust by addressing behavior that might unintentionally undermine their confidence.

10. Spouse: "I feel like we’ve grown apart emotionally."

You: Thank you for telling me that.

Why it’s healing:
This response acknowledges their vulnerability in expressing this and allows them to work on emotional intimacy together without assigning blame.

Why This Approach Works Overall

Saying "Thank you for telling me that" creates a safe space for your spouse to share their feelings without fear of dismissal or hostility. It reflects:

• Gratitude: You appreciate their honesty.

• Openness: You’re willing to listen without defensiveness.

• Commitment to Growth: You’re eager to improve the relationship.

This phrase can shift the dynamic from conflict to collaboration, reinforcing a foundation of trust and mutual respect.

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• Gratitude: You appreciate their honesty.

• Openness: You’re willing to listen without defensiveness.

• Commitment to Growth: You’re eager to improve the relationship.

•       Empathy: You care about your spouse’s feelings and are dedicated to your relationship.