Two Kinds of Domestic Violence: One is situational, and the other is Characterological, which is more severe.
The terms "episodic domestic violence" and "characterological domestic violence" refer to different patterns and underlying causes of domestic violence within relationships.
Episodic (Situational) Domestic Violence
Nature: Episodic domestic violence typically occurs in isolated incidents or episodes rather than as a continuous or systematic pattern.
Frequency: These incidents are sporadic and may be triggered by specific situations, stressors, or external factors, such as financial strain, substance abuse, or emotional distress.
Behavior: The perpetrator in episodic domestic violence might not have an ingrained tendency toward violence. They may express remorse after the incident and may not view violence as a regular part of their relationship behavior.
Potential for Change: Because the behavior is not habitual, the perpetrator may be more likely to change, especially if they acknowledge the problem and seek help through counseling or other interventions, and each partner takes a deep dive into accountability for their part in the episodes, and a plan to handle conflict more productively and healthily.
Characterological Domestic Violence:
Nature: Characterological domestic violence is a more severe and persistent form of abuse, often ingrained in the perpetrator’s personality and behavior.
Frequency: This type of violence is customary, with a consistent pattern of controlling, manipulative, and abusive behavior.
Behavior: The perpetrator often needs power and control over their partner. They may have deep-seated personality issues, such as narcissism, antisocial tendencies, or a belief that violence is an acceptable way to assert dominance.
Potential for Change: Characterological domestic violence is much more challenging to address because it is rooted in the perpetrator’s character. Long-term therapy or intervention might be necessary, but change is often complicated and less likely.
The concepts of "pit bull" and "cobra" types of domestic violence, introduced by psychologist and researcher Michael J. Paymar, describe two distinct patterns of abusive behavior exhibited by perpetrators of intimate partner violence. Understanding these differences is crucial for developing appropriate intervention strategies and support systems for victims.
Pit Bull Type Domestic Violence:
The "pit bull" type of abuser is characterized by emotional volatility and a strong attachment to their partner, which can lead to possessiveness and jealousy. This type of perpetrator often displays a pattern of intermittent explosive behavior; they may be loving and attentive at times but can quickly become aggressive, particularly when they perceive a threat to their relationship or their control over their partner. The violence in pit bull-type abusers tends to be more reactive, triggered by feelings of insecurity, fear of abandonment, or perceived disrespect. These abusers may use threats, intimidation, and physical aggression to maintain control, but their violence is often impulsive and may not be premeditated. They are typically more emotionally expressive, which can make it difficult for victims to predict their behavior, leading to a cycle of tension-building followed by explosive outbursts.
Cobra Type Domestic Violence:
In contrast, the "cobra" type of abuser is characterized by a more calculated and manipulative approach to their violence. These perpetrators possess a cold, controlled demeanor and often exhibit a higher degree of premeditation in their abusive tactics. Cobra-type abusers typically use intimidation and coercive control as their primary means of domination, often employing psychological manipulation, threats, and strategic aggression to maintain power over their partner. Unlike pit bull abusers, cobras are less emotionally expressive and may appear calm and collected even when inflicting harm. Their violence can be more strategic and may escalate over time, as they often view their partner as an object to be controlled rather than a person with feelings and needs. This type of abuser can be especially dangerous because their behavior is often calculated, making it harder for victims to recognize the threat until it becomes severe.
Intervention Strategies:
Given the differences in these two types of abusers, intervention strategies must be tailored accordingly. For pit bull-type abusers, anger management programs, therapy focusing on emotional regulation, and couples counseling can be beneficial, as these individuals may respond to therapy that helps them understand and control their emotional triggers. However, it is crucial for victims to prioritize their safety and have a support network in place.
On the other hand, intervention for cobra-type abusers may require more intensive approaches, including legal action or safety planning for the victim, as these individuals often pose a higher risk of escalating violence. Victims of cobra abusers may need to seek specialized support services that address the manipulative tactics used by these perpetrators. In both cases, understanding the dynamics of the abuse is essential for developing effective safety plans and ensuring that victims have access to the resources they need to escape abusive relationships.
SUMMARY OF John and Julie GOTTMAN RESEARCH
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Situational domestic violence arises from arguments spinning out of control. Both partners tend to be mildly violent, using slaps or shoves to stress their points. Both feel guilty and want to change. Eighty percent of U.S. domestic violence is situational.
We conducted a randomized controlled study in which small groups of couples met weekly for twenty weeks to learn pre-tested conflict management skills, biofeedback techniques for self-soothing, and methods to deepen friendship and intimacy. This program eliminated situational domestic violence and hostility and increased calm conflict management, even at an 18-month follow-up. Sandra Stith and Eric McCollum also developed a couples program that succeeded in eliminating situational domestic violence.
Characterological domestic violence presents a different story. One partner is a perpetrator; the other is a victim. The perpetrator takes no responsibility for the violence and instead blames the victim for causing it. There’s nothing the victim can do to stop the violence, which often causes her significant injuries or even death. Victims are primarily female.
Our research revealed two types of characterological perpetrators: “Pitbulls” and “Cobras.” Pitbulls fear abandonment. They are jealous, possessive, domineering and often isolate their partners. Cobras may be psychopaths. They are belligerent, unpredictably explosive, and strike out of nowhere. No one has found a treatment that stops characterological DV. To escape potentially dire consequences, the victim must separate from the perpetrator and seek safety elsewhere. Twenty percent of domestic violence is characterological. The victims of this form of DV now fill our shelters.
