Question: Is separation healthy if one person wants to decide when it will end?
Don: It is healthiest when both individuals are prepared and eager to re-enter the relationship in a more adept manner.
It's important to not just get back together with the same attitudes and points of view that led to the separation. When one person feels pressured or forced to re-start the relationship, they may feel resentment towards their partner for trying to control the timeline. Resentment is a sign of unhappiness and can lead to divorce or at least a mental separation if it continues to grow.
Please keep the following text in mind:
If you feel pressured or threatened, make sure to express your needs before considering re-entering the relationship. If your needs are not welcomed, consider seeking counseling to strengthen your emotional well-being. This is likely an area for personal growth both within and outside of the marriage. Trust your instincts, find your truth, and use your voice. Try using this new voice in a gentle and inviting manner, rather than giving commands like a "sit, roll over, fetch" approach. This is a time to learn new skills and understand the impact of your emotional tone and impressions on your efforts to seek understanding.
If there is emotional or physical abuse in the relationship, the person who is controlling the timing of the separation may be feeling unsafe. Their actions may be driven by fear. If they have accused you of emotional or physical abuse, it's best to step back and gather more information. Reliable information can only be obtained when you are calm and respectful. If this is the case, seek professional help to navigate the situation in a respectful and safe manner for both parties.
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